my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
