We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
