I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
