I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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