Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize