yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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