I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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