your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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