He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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