So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize