You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
