Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
