But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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