Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
