Tell her she can't have a vagina
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
So much Jack, so little girl.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
