i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
