Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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