just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
