susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
