im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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