You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
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