It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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