i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
