it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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