There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
