I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
