Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I had to cum in my sink.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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