you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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