I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
