she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
