If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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