he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
