big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
