I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You're like the curious george of whores
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
