I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
