I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
and you said cock pushups were impossible
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
