next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
