It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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