singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
