bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Randomize
