the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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