Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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