So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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