I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
dude i'm inner monologue high
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
