i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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