Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I could fuck to npr.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
