I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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