My friends, they love my intelligence
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
