whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
