I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
