YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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