I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
my god I love twenty year old dicks
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
