Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
