Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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