I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
