I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
