Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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