My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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