i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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