Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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