I'm going to jail i love you
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
