I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
