There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
