Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
