So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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