dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
